Things this year has not been going as well as I planned. Last year I had a very strong finish, competitions, guest spot, changing jobs etc and everything went well – or at least I was positive enough to see the good things in all that was happening, even if they didn’t happen as I wanted them to . But as soon as 2013 arrived things have changed considerably. You know that feeling when your luck just turns around and whatever you do nothing works out the way you want it, or even close to it. Little bit disappointing, little bit demotivating in certain aspects, but you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.
In 2013 I thought I’d change federations. I started competing in UKBFF in 2011, then moved to NAC in 2012 and I thought in 2013 I could start and make my way towards a pro card. I have had to make some very tough decisions regarding that as it can be very time consuming and very demotivating as well. We all know that this federation I’m talking about is not famous for its ‘fair’ judging, more like how long you have been around and whether you mix in the right circles.
When I first made a decision about competing my main aim was becoming pro. It was more like a personal goal, as we all know that pro female bodybuilding doesn’t really produce more income, none of the Olympia competitiors have a sponsorship and it costs you more money than what you can actually earn from it. But when it comes to a personal achievement, you set your goals and if you want it bad enough, you go for them.
This is what I’ve done: made a hard decision after my last competition in 2012, that if I ever want to become pro I will have to switch federations.
Knowing the situation here in the UK with this federation I thought I could never really stand a proper chance to get to the level I want to be so being a dual citizen has given me more options. Planning started in January, checking out what qualifiers and competitions I need to do to achieve my goal, what a realistic timeframe would be, when to start dieting etc. So you make the decisions, make a few phonecalls to see if it’s all good to go before you start the prep.
First of all I was told I’d have to pay 500 euros penalty. Penalty? What have I done? I’m a british and world champion athlete wishing to compete with a different federation! Well, if I wanted to switch federations I’d have to pay a penalty – I was told. Don’t really understand the reasoning behind it as I have never competed in that country, or with that particular federation so it’s not the case of going back to them, but actually starting to compete with them. Oh well, the rules are the rules, if you want to compete you have to oblige. So I thought 500 euros is a lot of money, but not the end of the world, just means to the end and to get my end result. So started dieting – again, but unfortunately my body seemed to have a different agenda. Last year was a very probing year for me with staying lean and constant dieting almost all year around and my body told me it needed a bit more time to recover. So after a few weeks of dieting and not getting anywhere I made a decision not to compete in April as it would’ve been very unhealthy to force my weight down to the level it should’ve been to be able to stand on stage and qualify.
Another phonecall to the president of this federation in that particular country to tell him I couldn’t do that qualifier. He told me the last qualifier for the Worlds that’s in September is in June, so if I wanted to compete at the worlds I’d have to qualify in June, otherwise i’ll miss it.
No problem, few weeks off, carbing up, eating and stepping up training. In April I started dieting again. I experienced the same problem again – my weight just wouldn’t shift below a certain level. Research, phonecalls, chats until I found something that went straight against the grain but it gave my body the necessary shock to start losing weight again. So a week before the competition, when I could tell that i’m going to reach the target weight to compete I made another phonecall to the president of this particular federation who told me that most probably I can’t compete at the worlds because that is drug tested and if i’m not completely clean I’d fail the test. I was a bit surprised because we discussed this back in January and March and we’ve been preparing for this competition and this test since I started dieting in January, making sure that I wouldn’t fail on the test. Well this gentleman was very positive that I’d fail the test anyway so there’s no point in doing the competition next weekend. I got very disappointed and stressed out especially after all that i’ve been through to get my weight down and get ready, and NOW he’s telling me that I can’t do it. I asked him if there’s any chance I could still go and coompete as I’m almost 100% sure (you can never be 100% sure) that I’d not fail the test. He informed me casually that the only way he’s willing to risk it is if I bring 2000 euros with me next weekend, that’s the penalty if I fail the test in September. Question: why do I have to pay it 3 months in advance, even if he’s sure I will not pass the test why can I not just bring it with me in September in case we have to pay it? Would I see that money again if I didn’t get tested or passed the test in September? And is it worth risking?
What has been happening with pro female bodybuilding recently I have second thoughts now that it’s worth going for the pro card and especially when it costs you £2500 just to be part of a federation, and that doesn’t include your costs of getting ready for the competitions, the bikini, the flights and hotel etc. And chances are, by the time I get the pro card there’s not gonna be any pro shows for female bodybuilding to compete at…
I think it was very good timing for me to open my eyes with all this happening. I do believe that everything happens for a reason!
And off season has started again 🙂
